Story Telling Unit - Pre-Writing Part 2

I had a tutorial with Simon to discuss how far I'm into my project and how I'm doing on the course. I feel passionate about the course and am enjoying it so far! I definately think that I'm not going to be a screenwriter but as Simon said, there's other units on the course that I may find enjoyable for me than screenwriting. Not saying I hate it, but it's 'not my cup of tea' so to speak. Anyway, to the critique of the project.
I spoke about the overall pitch and it went well, but I needed to make it more believable, so here's what I formulated based on that.





The hook - Two homeless people looking for a place to stay
Problem - They find a woman on the ground,  
Cliff hanger - she needs help
Tension raises - billy wants to do something, but jimmy says no and tries to take charge of a situation he can't control, a role-reversal from earlier in the story.
Moment of truth - billy carries it out himself

Climax - they take the woman out and phone the police and an ambulance
Resolution - jimmy respects billy more as a person and vows he'll never underestimate him The rest of the story is essentially the same, except the pair are homeless,  gives the vacant house a sense of purpose and believability. One f the two is an ex paramedic, which the other doesnt know, this gives more of an insight into how he deals with the case.